beauty for ashes.

stories from Cambodia

radical humility.

"Humility is essential to mission."
"Jesus didn't have to have it all together."

Britt Merrick - Missio Christi | Seek from Reality on Vimeo.

I keep listening to this message series (find them ALL here) from Reality Carp. church over and over again. I especially love this one about the radical humility and love Jesus demonstrated in his willingness to break down cultural boundaries to reach people.

The whole series is really good— Britt has really unique insight into the life and mission of Jesus. If you only have time to watch a few of them, I'd also recommend "Call."

what if jesus meant all that stuff?

I love love love love this letter that Shane Claiborne wrote for Esquire magazine.

the gospel: plain and simple.

I love this quote from Timothy Keller, in this excerpt from a book of his:

The Gospel is—we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared to believe, and at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.

This is the only kind of relationship that will really transform us. Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it.

God’s saving love in Christ, however, is marked by both radical truthfulness about who we are and yet also radical, unconditional commitment to us. The merciful commitment strengthens us to see the truth about ourselves and repent. The conviction and repentance moves us to cling to and rest in God’s mercy and grace.

The article actually focuses on marriage and has a lot of cool points on how the worldly view of marriage is warped by our selfishness.

farewell to summer.

In honor of the end of summer, and the start of school, I thought I’d share a poem that was read at the first convo of the year:

The Summer Day
Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Two thoughts:

First, I love this poem. There’s something about the idea of prayerful attention that just makes sense. Maybe that’s why my prayer journal is filled with sketches, doodles and dried flowers. There’s just something about noticing and creating beauty that feels like a prayer to me… I don’t know what that looks like theologically, but I do know I feel so much closer to God when I’m outside and can “kneel down in the grass… [and] be idle and blessed.”

Second, I can already sense that this school year is going to be crazy beyond belief— the good, adrenaline-pumping kind of crazy and the stressful, I-have-no-time-to-sleep-anymore kind of crazy alike. I’m genuinely excited for everything that’s to come, and I know God has good stuff in store. Nevertheless, I know myself and my tendency is often to turn into a get-everything-done robot when things get crazy. I'm desperately praying that this year I don't get so busy that I stop finding the time to pay attention to God around me. I want to honor Him by simply being “idle and blessed” and making the most of my “one wild and precious life.”

glory.

I was reading back over old entries in my prayer journal today, when I stumbled across something I had written earlier this summer.

I remember sitting at Peet’s (coffee shops are second only to the middle of the wilderness for best places to go spend time with God ☺) and writing the words of a worship song onto the page:

“Lord, I want more of you…”

Then, I went on: “NOT because you can change the lives of my friends or heal the brokenness in my life or society or the world, or because I need your strength and love to sustain me (although all of these are so true)— but because you are GOOD & HOLY & GLORIOUS.” (I draw in my journal a lot, so the words actually are huge and all-caps… hahah)

Rereading it took me by surprise. I mean, it sounds weird— kind of sacrilegious even— at first read… Why the heck had I written that?

I reread the beginning of the prayer, and slowly began to remember what God had taught me that day.

“I’m sorry for coming to you so often with my own agenda.”

God gives us so many infinite, amazing reasons to love him and seek him, but that day, I had begun to wonder: what if he hadn’t. Would I still praise God if he hadn’t saved my life, promised to take care of me and redeemed the world? Would I praise him simply for who he is?

Do I see God as something amazing and worth enjoying simply as is— like a gorgeous sunset or beautiful painting that we stop to admire? …only 5 billion times better?

The answer, I’m sorry to say, is often no. I’m far too quick to love God for selfish reasons. I rush through life and prayer, forgetting to praise God for the smell of roses, for laughter and prayer. I don’t spend time just admiring and worshipping him.

So my prayer today echoes Moses’ in Exodus 33: 18:

“Show me your glory,

your infinite greatness

& unimaginable beauty.”

God, I want to see a glimpse of who you really are. Then maybe I’ll be so blown away that I couldn’t possibly forget to give you glory.

so good.

I love this blog post from one of my favorite blogs: Jaime, the Very Worst Missionary.